goodbyes

i said goodbye to a friend yesterday - a friend who has been a steady support for me over this last year as i've left my husband and embarked on a new life on my own. today i am profoundly feeling that loss of a friend by my side who's supported me in more ways than i had known.

all of this has gotten me thinking about who i am and where i am heading. my life seems to have become so unpredictable lately. it seems as if i'm constantly battling something.. whether it's paying my bills, parenting my children, figuring out the changes in my own body and on and on.

before i left my husband life was predictable. it wasn't a good life, but i knew what to expect. now, i am more at peace in so many ways and yet i'm feeling so lost right now. unsettled.

this is all part of the process, right? and some day... at some point... it will all come together? at this point, i have to believe that.